Managing Milestones in Sobriety: Birthday Parties, Weddings, and More

When it comes to sobriety, birthday parties, weddings, anniversaries, and other milestone celebrations can be incredibly triggering. However, there are still many preventive steps you can take to support yourself—and others—during these events. Below, we’ll go over some of our best tips, ideas, and activities for your milestones without alcohol.

In today’s culture, celebrating a milestone has often included some form of intoxicating substance. It’s such a standard part of how we come together as humans that it’s hard to imagine a wedding or other type of milestone party without a free-flowing bar. For sober individuals, this can be immensely difficult. In fact, a study among University of Michigan college students found that 30% who do not wish to drink feel uncomfortable being around people who are.

Whether you’re sober yourself or looking for ways to support a sober loved one, keep reading for tips on having fun while doing so without jeopardizing all the progress made toward sober living.

Milestones & Recovery

Let’s start at perhaps the most triggering of all milestone events: a 21st birthday party. It’s not unusual for an individual to get sober prior to their 21st birthday or to have guests who do not drink. Nor is it unusual for the party itself to be planned by someone who is sober. And while working sobriety into a quintessentially alcohol-heavy milestone event isn’t the norm, there are still plenty of things to do for your 21st birthday without alcohol.

Some of our favorite ideas for sober 21st birthdays include:

• Going retro: Pizza parties, roller skating rinks, and trampoline parks.
• Getting active: Hiking, camping, horseback riding, and yoga.
• Being creative: Cooking classes, painting classics, and ceramics.
• Taking an adventure: Skydiving, bungee jumping, and amusement parks.
• Giving back: Volunteering and fundraising.

The activities above are memorable, fun, and great for groups, and none of them are centered alcohol. Sounds like a win-win to us!

Life is full of things that are worth celebrating. From anniversaries and birthdays to weddings and graduation, approaching exciting milestones from a point of sobriety shouldn’t—and won’t—take away from how special they are.

An important first step here is self-responsibility. Sobriety requires regular check-ins and an acknowledgment of boundaries, whether you’re the sober one or a loved one is. Make sure there is a support system present at the event, even if it’s just one person, and maintain an open dialogue so that if there are triggers (and there often will be) they can be worked through instead of simply ignored.

Another good step is to pay attention to the benefits of being sober for life’s milestones. This includes financial recovery after addiction and the ability to enjoy major events without having to prioritize the cost of alcohol, as well as the opportunity to live in the moment and truly feel all the love and warmth present at these types of occasions.

Positive reinforcement is key here. Congratulate yourself and recognize your strength. And if it’s a loved one who is sober, provide encouragement and be sure to mention how proud you are.

Keeping the Fun Going

Milestones can be just as fun when you’re sober! Keep a sober buddy by your side (or be that sober buddy) and discover just how enjoyable an event still is when you’re not drinking. And as always, take care of yourself first. If you feel the need to step away or leave early, do it. Your sobriety is important, and your loved ones will understand.